Tuesday, February 1, 2011

It's Official

Today is the day, the official start of my life as a cancer patient.  Since December 7th I have been in the planning phase, with the cat scan, pet scans, blood work, PEM scans and the multitude of doctors appointments.  But that was just planning, as of today the battle begins and my life will never be the same.  Yesterday was my last day as a "normal person", today I got the port installed, Friday the chemo starts, and in two weeks I lose my hair.  From this day forward I will always be a cancer patient.  I WILL BE a survivor at the end of this, but a cancer patient just the same, for the rest of my life.  Even when the port is removed the scar will remain as a reminder of this battle.  I wonder if there will ever be a day I don't think about it.  I wonder if ten years from now I will have an entire day where there is no mention of cancer or there is nothing that sparks a memory of my cancer and right before I go to bed I get undressed and the scar is there to remind me.  I wonder...will I hate the scar, will I love the scar, will it be like a battle scar and give me strength....I wonder.
I am a different person today than I was yesterday, February 1, 2011 it all changed, I have changed.  The training and planning is over, it's time to fight.  Just like a NASCAR race, the engines revving the gun fires and here we go......


  1. I'll be wearing my pink pin for you Natalie. And every time I look at it I will say a little prayer for that cancer to go away NOW. Wear your battle scars proudly!

  2. I am with Tracie on this. I have an Aunt that is a cancer patient, now as you say at the end a Survivor!! I know how strong you were in high school and I know that strength will carry you through this!! Pink Power all the way!!!