Saturday, December 18, 2010

A New Kind of Trailer

I have to start this blog with a little bit of correction from my first entry and from the title of this blog.  My Mom said, "its not the Big C it's the little c", and I had to agree.  This is not something that Bigger than me and it not something that is insurmountable, but I will leave it, as is, because this blog and my journey will prove to dispel the title.
Before I start discussing the tests I underwent on Friday, I have to thank each and everyone of you who have read the blog and passed on words of encouragement through comments, phone calls, texts, conversations, or emails.  They have all been very humbling and uplifting.  I am saving them all, so when I need a little pick me up I will re-read them to gain strength from them.  But a few of them I would like to mention because they worthy of being shared.  I will not name any names, you will know who you are, but the different perspectives I have received are amazing. 

"Remember, you are not a cancer patient, you are a beautiful, strong, healthy woman who happens to live cancer at the moment"

 "I just wanted to ask God, "why now"?  Then I remembered something I read in Ron Hall and Denver Moore's "Same Kind of Different as Me".  Denver had remarked that when things seem like they are going good, watch out because the Devil was coming.  He said that because who does the Devil want to hurt the most?  Those that are most loved by God!  This may seem like such a backward message, but I see you as being so close to the Father, especially after this past year.  It made sense that the Devil would want to wage war and it appears he has...The devil WILL NOT WIN against this army of prayer warriors!  God is GLORIOUS!"

"Meanwhile, celebrate in your usual spirited way and know that you are deeply loved because you love deeply"

That is a a few of them but please know, all of them are read and cherished.
Ok now onto the tests that were run on Friday.  I checked in at Texas Oncology and when I gave my name to the lady at the desk she said "Oh you are the young and slender one. We have to get you to the warm room".  Now that is my kind of greeting! Apparently for the PET scan you cannot be chilled so they took me and my young and slender booty ;) to the warm room.  This was just fine with me because the waiting rooms are really not fun places. 
As I settled into my "warm room" which was very nicely furnished with wing back chairs and hotel style pictures on the wall, I decided it would be a good time to listen to a little Will Hoge on the ipod.  He always brings a smile to my face.  Me and Will were having a nice little time until the nurse came in with a PITCHER of white stuff and a red solo cup.  She said "This will be your cup", as she filled it to the top with the white stuff and said "drink up I will be back in a few minutes to pour you another".  AAAAAAHHHHHHHH I HATE MILK and this looked too much like milk for me to convince myself that it wasn't.  Thankfully I was able to choke down two cups of it and did not have to drink the whole pitcher like I first expected.  I kept trying to imagine it was a solo cup full of Liberty School wine, we all know I am pretty fond of that.
After the "wine" they drew some blood and put in an IV and escorted me to a trailer, yes a TRAILER in the back parking lot.  I was then hoisted up on a fork lift type thing and a garage door opened to the trailer and revealed a Star Trek Command Center looking thing.  The Texas Oncology building is huge (the one on Mopac if you are in Austin I know you have seen it) so this only proves just how much crappy cancer there is in this world that they are expanding to portables just like our school systems, so sad.
The PET scan was really easy I just had to lie there as the little, well big, tube ran back and forth.  I was a little unnerved by the canister marked "radioactive" that they inserted into my IV.  Maybe now I have some special superhero powers I haven't discovered yet.  I will keep you posted if any appear, or maybe I will just sneak up and surprise you if I happen to have developed invisibleness or the ability to fly :)
After the PET scan which took about two hours I went in for the cat scan which was similar but much shorter only about 15 minutes.  So all in all the tests were really kind of easy breezy.  Nothing at all to be scared of if, God forbid, you ever have to have them.
Next doctor's appointment is Monday, hopefully we can set the dates for Chemo and get this ball rolling.  It is really hard just waiting and not feeling like we are killing the cancer yet.  But it will happen soon enough and in the meantime I know God has me in good hands.


  1. Nat -- thanks for posting in your blog so we get the real story and the full detail from you, not the Reader's Digest version.

    I'm thinking back to all the projects that I naysayed and you wrangled into something big and wonderful (like the Christmas album) and I know you will wrangle cancer and not let it change who you are.

    Keep us posted and have a wonderful Christmas.

  2. God definitely has you in His hands! Know you are not in this alone, and I am so grateful that you share your perspective so we can carry you and walk the walk, fight the fight right there with you! Now for your next trick... glow in the dark, perhaps? :P

    Love ya'!

  3. My daughter shared your blog with me. Your positive attitude should help enormously in your healing process. I wonder if you know of the book, "Anticancer, A New Way of Life," written by an M.D. who had cancer and learned of ways to augment medical treatments and to prevent it.
    May God bless you!

  4. Natalie~~~

    I just found out from Tracie and hopped over to your blog. Let me tell were so strong in high school and I looked up to that, I know within my heart that this strength will carry you through this. I am here..well you know not here...but you. You don't know how much you meant to me in high day I will sit down and write you a letter to tell you...but know this because of your kindness I am who I am today. Now dust off your cape and put that super power to use and fly!!!!

    Love ya!!!